An alien from Mars exploring the Earth

Only 1.5 days left until the day I really become unemployed…

I’ve planned to quit my current job since the day I started working here one and a half year ago, and finally I made the decision at the end of last month (and also last year)! For the first time of my life, I really feel so proud of myself!

I don’t know why it took me so long time to think and do something really right for myself. What has been happening to me? How can I keep doing the job I don’t like and wasting my time in a work environment that I hate for such a long time? Why did I keep hesitating to make a right decision?

I’ve been so exhausted, lonely and depressed every single day at work and I’ve kept looking forward to weekends and holidays. Sometimes I just want to end my life so that I don’t have to go to work anymore. I can’t fit in at work at all and I always keep silent most of the time when my co-workers gossip and talk about normal stuff that I never understand what makes them so attractive to those people. I never feel interested in any topic they talk about. And I think that’s one of the reasons that my boss hates me and kept treating me so mean all the time until the day I told her I wanted to leave the job… I don’t want to talk about how mean she treated me, because I really want to forget. But I think she’s always been so hard on me. Or maybe because I’m the youngest employee in the workplace and I never care about anything or anyone else but my work? It could be everything. And whatever it is, I never give a shit anyway.

Anyway, I’m so excited about the new journey ahead! I’m gonna go back to my hometown for a few days for the lunar new year with my special friend. And then we’re spending time together travelling to the North of the country, where there are so many epic landscapes to see. I’m so looking forward to our trip and can’t wait to explore everything with my dearest friend!

Meanwhile, I also feel so lost and empty. I really don’t know what I’m going to do next or who I really want to be… I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now and recently I keep thinking about it more often and more serious.

The restaurant I visit everyday is hiring their new staff and the manager said all the staff there really love me and really wish me to become a new staff. The owner and her daughter also really love me. Her mom-in-law, whom I always call ‘grandma’, also loves me very much and says she waits to talk with me everyday. And I also get close to some familiar customers. I believe that I receive a lot of love here. I am truly thankful to the universe and Lady Buddha for leading me here and letting me know all of those lovely people. It isn’t just a restaurant for me, but a peaceful place where sometimes I can really relax and feel calm. Sometimes I really believe this is the place I can call home. Sometimes I believe I’ve finally found a place that I really belong to…

Anyway, the owner said my peaceful lifestyle seems to really suit the restaurant’s atmosphere and environment. She said everyone there loves me and it seems that I also enjoy helping them with their work. I was so touched when she said that. It was such beautiful words that a person could say to others.

At first, I thought that it was just a perfect choice for me after I leave my current job. She even opened a work account for me already, alhough I haven’t decided yet. But then after thinking about it day after day, now I really don’t know. I really love everyone at the restaurant and I just love the atmosphere there. However, now I’m not really sure whether I really want to work as a cashier of a restaurant. I love the food and it also seems that I’ve been getting on well with everyone here. But…

At the same time, I’m also afraid that when people know me well, they will hate me. I’ve been told that nobody would love me and want to be friend with me because of who I am since I was small and I still cannot get over that feeling. I really love the restaurant and everyone there and I don’t want them to hate me for any reason, because it would be so awkward if I kept going to the restaurant after that…

Besides that, I just feel that maybe I don’t really want to work for anyone else but myself. I really didn’t fit in any work comunity before and I feel it will be still the same in the future. I also feel I never really care about anything. Haha. I don’t know.

I think I just want to work from home so that I can have time to think, read, write, travel to somewhere else and try everything new… I want to experience something really big, really different from anything I’ve experienced before. I want to go to the outside world…

Oh, I really feel so lost and empty now. My life’s so boring. What’s the purpose of it? Why was I sent to this Earth? What should I do to become really useful and how can I live a truly meaningful life?

Now I feel I’m so lucky to meet and know my special friend from Jupiter. She has really inspired me a lot and helped me realize a lot of things inside myself that I haven’t realized before. I’ve learnt a lot from her. Thank you, Jupiter, for sending to the Earth such a special friend like her!

I wish I could really had some talents like painting or making music, like my special friend that I’ve met recently. I really admire her work and love all of her creative works she’s been making. She’s truly an artist from Jupiter. I really wish I could create something really beautiful and amazing like her songs… Yeah, if only I could do that…

Anyway, I really want to express my deepest gratitude to the universe and all the Gods that exist for letting me meeting so many great people and letting me experience so many things last year and also this year ahead. I can’t wait to explore everything and hopefully I can find something that really interests me.