An alien from Mars exploring the Earth

For more than 2 years, since I was still a senior at university, I’ve kept thinking about the purpose of life. I’ve kept wondering what I should do to live a meaningful life. And what’s exactly a meaningful life?

I keep asking myself why human life is so boring? Everyone seems to do the same thing as others do for their whole life, like going to school, getting a job, getting married, having kids, getting diseases and dying… So what is the purpose of all of those things? It’s such a boring cycle, nothing special. What makes my life different from anyone else?

Many people told me why I had to think so much about these stupid things? Why do I have to think and act so differently? I just need to accept and enjoy them, because everyone else does that and nothing bad happens. People are happy with their life and that’s the important thing. But that’s what makes me keep thinking. I don’t want to be just normal. It doesn’t seem to make any sense to me if I was born in this life just to do normal things like other people do. I’ve been aware of the life cycle and I can’t get rid of the feeling of boredom and emptiness. I just can’t get those feelings out of my head to live a ‘normal’ life. I just want to experience something really special, really impressive, really extraordinary…

Sometimes I feel so depressed because I keep thinking that way. In the end, people are just animals, and we’re a part of nature, so just live like what Mother Nature created us to live. Why can’t I just accept that ‘fact’ and make my life easier?

Unfortunately, most of the time, I can’t stop wondering what’s the point of those things? Why did Mother Nature create human beings just to see we were living like other animals? Why did the Universe create the Earth if all she wanted to see was that every creature on this planet would live the same life as others?

Well, I guess nobody can answer these questions for me…

Of course, there are many times in my life that I feel really happy and peaceful. I’m really grateful for everyone I’ve met and everything I have experienced, whether it is a good or bad thing. But I still don’t really have any extreme feeling for anything. I don’t miss my family when I’m away from home for a long time like many people do. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I never feel homesick. I didn’t cry when I finnish my high school or university like many other students did. I never really hate anyone. I don’t really get angry at anyone who hurts me. I’m not really interested in anything. I don’t know my passion and I don’t really have any enthusiasm for anything.

Yeah. I really don’t know what to do with my life…

And today is also the day I finally become unemployed! I’m a free woman now! And I don’t really have any plan for the future…